Disappointment: How to Deal When Life Lets You Down

No human hasn’t experienced disappointment.

From underwhelming birthday parties to not getting into the school/programme/job you wanted, to that person who gave you their number but never texted you back, life is rife with that momentary bitterness at the back of our throats that we’ve come to know as disappointment.

The feeling occurs when what we expect to happen doesn’t actually, well, happen.

It’s an all-too-human problem, this. Because when we expect, we hope. We hope for certain things, certain outcomes. But these outcomes are affected by tons of variables, the most significant of which is other people.

And people let us down.

They might try their best not to, but they inevitably do. And we, too, let ourselves down every now and then.

So how do you bounce back from that crushing feeling that is disappointment?

Here are some tips that may help.

Did You Verbalise Your Desires?

It’s a simple rule, but one we easily forget: if you don’t ask for something, the chances of you getting it are slim to none.

The fact of life is that nobody is going to hand you your happiness on a platter.

Nobody can read your mind and do or say the exact things or the exact words you want them to.

It’s seductive to want the people around you to know you so thoroughly that they hand-deliver a cup of coffee with two shots of espresso, a pump of vanilla syrup and no-sugar soy milk the minute you break a yawn.

But while you’re scoffing at that last sentence, at least you know how uneven that expectation is.

Occasionally, people who know you well might be able to make a lucky guess about something you want, but don’t count on it.

If life is like being on the road, then other people are consumed with not crashing their own cars: people are preoccupied mostly with themselves.

So if you want something, ask for it.

Don’t expect someone else to anticipate your wants. That’s equivalent to hinging your happiness on something or someone you have no control over, which, now that you see it spelled out, seems kind of insane, doesn’t it?

Wants, Needs and Expectations

When we feel disappointment, that sadness is usually caused by a want, rather than a need, not being realised. If you didn’t get something you needed, you’d likely be feeling a far worse emotion than disappointment.

It’s a #firstworldproblem indeed. Nothing ever seems to be good enough.

But I’ll let you in on something: happiness is a shifting yardstick.

If you can readjust your perspective on where ‘good enough’ is, you might find that your life is actually pretty abundant.

You’re here. You have food to nourish yourself with and a warm bed to climb into at night. You have people in your life who care about you. And you’re out there every day fighting your own version of the good fight.

Allow Yourself to Feel Disappointed

Don’t ever doubt your truth: if you feel disappointed, feel disappointed.

Don’t make yourself feel bad for feeling sad.

Recognise your emotion, lean into it, accept it, and move on.

Be at peace with the fact that not everything will unfold perfectly all the time. Good times have to be paired with shittier moments that make you realise how pretty awesome the former is when you get to experience them.

Loosen that tight, tight grip and don’t spare the negativity any more of your time or another ounce of mental energy.

Most of the time, you are your own tormentor.

Wallow for a bit, then learn the lesson and move on.

Disappointment Is Part of Being Human

Much like joy, suffering and love, disappointment is just one of those things in life you can’t rid yourself of. It’s fundamental to the human condition.

We’re predisposed to hope. And that hope might not always culminate in satisfaction.

But at least you’re now better equipped, if only just, to deal with that lump in your throat when it happens.

Now take a deep breath, unfurl your brows and exhale all of that disappointment out.

You don’t need to keep it.

About Wise Psychic Counselling

Wise Psychic Counselling provides a compassionate and confidential space where you can explore difficult emotions, personal challenges, relationships and the experiences that may be weighing on you.

Through counselling, psychotherapy and an intuitive approach, sessions can help you understand what you’re feeling, recognise emotional patterns and gain greater clarity around the challenges you’re experiencing.

Whether you’re dealing with disappointment, rejection, relationship difficulties, emotional overwhelm or a period of uncertainty, sometimes having a safe space to talk can help you see things differently.

Ready to take the next step?

Book a confidential session with Wise Psychic Counselling and give yourself the space to talk, reflect and move forward.

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