What They Don’t Tell You About Grief, Guilt, and Regret
- Wise Psychic Counsellor
- Jul 11
- 3 min read
How Hidden Pain Can Lead to Powerful Wake-Up Calls
Grief, guilt, and regret often arrive in our lives as an unwelcome trio. Together, they can feel like an emotional storm — unpredictable, exhausting, and impossible to control. At Wise Psychic Counselling, we believe that although these emotions are some of the most painful to sit with, they can also become profound teachers when gently explored.
The Truth No One Tells You
We live in a world that urges us to “have no regrets” and “look on the bright side,” yet real life is rarely that neat. Loss, disappointment, and missed chances are part of being human. When someone we love dies or a relationship fractures, guilt and regret often follow — uninvited but unavoidable.
Yet there’s an unexpected truth: when grief, guilt, and regret show up, they can connect us to our deepest truths. In the words of Oscar Wilde, “Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground.”
When Pain Sparks a Wake-Up Call
While the weight of this trio can feel unbearable, it can also be the force that nudges you to re-examine your life. Many people find themselves asking big, life-changing questions during these tender moments:
Who am I now?
What really matters?
What have I neglected?
How much time do I have left to live fully and truthfully?
Stories like reconnecting with estranged family, changing careers, or recommitting to self-care often begin in the darkness of loss. The guilt of unsaid words or unresolved relationships can inspire meaningful action — not just outwardly, but inwardly too.
The Six Types of Guilt
Grief and guilt go hand-in-hand more often than we admit. Recognising the type of guilt you’re carrying can help you name it and start to heal:
Causation Guilt: Believing you’re responsible for what happened.
Moral Guilt: Feeling punished for something you did or didn’t do.
Role Guilt: Feeling you failed in your role — as a sibling, parent, or friend.
Survivor Guilt: Wondering why you survived while someone else didn’t.
Grief Guilt: Feeling you’re not grieving “well enough.”
Recovery Guilt: Feeling guilty for coping too well.
From Guilt to Self-Compassion
If you recognise your own guilt or regret in these patterns, remember: you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. You are still doing the best you can.
Not every wake-up call is about fixing what’s outside of you. Some of the most healing wake-up calls come from turning inward with kindness. Simple rituals like writing a compassionate letter to yourself can be incredibly powerful. They remind you that you are worthy of forgiveness and gentleness — from yourself, first and foremost.
Grief: The Space Between Two Days
Loss, in all its forms, is part of the life/death/life cycle. The writer Clarissa Pinkola Estés reminds us that “death is a night between two days.” This means your story doesn’t end in sorrow — there is another dawn ahead.
When you are ready, let your grief become fertile ground for self-awareness and new beginnings. In this way, your pain can be the very thing that awakens you to a life lived more fully, more honestly, and more in alignment with what matters most.
Source: Adapted from insights at Wiselifetherapy.com – Grief & Guilt
About Wise Psychic Counselling
Wise Psychic Counselling offers compassionate and insightful guidance to support your mental and emotional well-being. Our experienced team combines psychological expertise with intuitive wisdom to provide tailored counselling that helps you navigate life’s challenges, heal past wounds, and find a renewed sense of hope and peace.
Ready to take the next step in your mental well-being journey? Book a session with our expert counsellors today to receive gentle support through your grief and discover your own wake-up calls.
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