Random Thoughts on Relationships and Self-Discovery

Relationships are sacred teachers, and friendships hold a similar power, especially when we examine how we behave within them. As an introverted feeling type, I prefer the company of a few “soul friends” over the company of many. These are the individuals who can maintain two-way relationships and communicate on a heart level. It’s not a popular way of being, I know, but thankfully, I’ve met a few loving, often creative, souls who share this deep desire and connection.

Exploring Connection Through Different Mediums

Imagine my surprise and fun when I joined TikTok eight months ago. There, I began to explore my extraverted thinking side. It’s been an exciting journey to share and learn in this space. When I first discovered psychology, I was so thrilled that all I wanted to do was tell others about what I was learning. Writing has always been my way of thinking, learning, and understanding myself and others. Even if my writing doesn’t help anyone else, it’s incredibly beneficial to me.

The Inner Journey of Love

I once believed that the perfect partner would complete me. I thought he’d banish my loneliness and receive my soul fully. But I later realised that the only one who truly knows my soul is the person living within me. Genuine compassion and love are learned by forgiving, accepting, and loving oneself. And let’s face it, that’s incredibly difficult.

It’s easier to say you love someone than to genuinely feel and express it in everyday interactions. Sometimes, love is confused with need, physical desire, gratitude for companionship, or a desire to be liked and understood. True love emerges from self-compassion and self-awareness.

Shadow Work and Growth

Relationships also serve as mirrors, reflecting back our shadow selves. Criticisms from others often reveal parts of ourselves we’ve yet to explore or accept. Locating the “hook” within us that gets us into conflict is key to understanding our shadow. It’s not always easy, especially in the moment, but the insights gained are invaluable.

Navigating Loneliness and Connection

How do I perceive relationships now that I’m without an essential outer relationship? The inner me feels less interesting than the richness of interacting with someone who has their own perspective. While I imagined falling in love again, no one seems to interest me as deeply as I want or expect. For now, I’ve learned to embrace being alone, albeit temporarily.

In Hinduism, the householder stage reflects the importance of partnerships in multi-generational living. In Western culture, however, many couples end up as “just the two of us,” especially in later life. The path of relationships after their ending—especially in mature life—is often taboo to discuss. Instead, we’re told to “get over it” and move on. Yet, the work of integrating the energy once projected onto a partner into oneself is profound and deeply personal.

Gratitude and the Pursuit of Love

I’m grateful for my intimate friends, my children, and even my pets. Yet, none of these connections replace a soul partner who shares spiritual interests and adventures and knows how to disagree constructively. Relationships that strengthen rather than destroy are rare but invaluable. At the core of it all, I still believe in love.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to articulate my reflections and share my journey.

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