What is Humiliation and Can it Ever Be Justified?

Embarrassment, shame, guilt, and humiliation all imply the existence of value systems. While shame and guilt arise from self-appraisal, embarrassment and humiliation come from the appraisal of others, even if only imagined. In essence, shame and guilt are internal, while embarrassment and humiliation are external. Embarrassment is something we bring upon ourselves, but humiliation is imposed on us.

For example, if Joe tells his teacher that he forgot his homework, he might feel embarrassed. If the teacher announces this to the whole class, Joe’s embarrassment intensifies. If the teacher then makes him sit in a corner facing the wall while the class laughs, Joe feels humiliated. Had the teacher simply given Joe a lower grade or detention, Joe might have felt offended, not humiliated. Offence is cognitive, related to clashing beliefs and values, whereas humiliation is visceral and existential.

The Latin root of ‘humiliation’ is humus, meaning ‘earth’ or ‘dirt’. Humiliation involves the abasement of honour and dignity, leading to a loss of status and standing. We all make certain status claims—be it ‘I am a competent doctor’ or ‘I am a human being’. When embarrassed, these claims are not seriously undermined. But humiliation challenges the very authority to make such claims, leaving a person stunned, speechless, and voiceless. Criticizing someone, especially those with low self-esteem, requires sensitivity to avoid attacking their fundamental status claims and robbing them of their dignity.

In short, humiliation is the public failure of one’s status claims, while private failure results in painful self-realization. Potentially humiliating events should be kept as private as possible. For example, being rejected by a love interest can be crushing but not humiliating. In contrast, if a spouse’s infidelity becomes public, it can be deeply humiliating.

Humiliation need not be accompanied by shame. Secure individuals with strong convictions might not experience shame despite humiliation, as the latter is an attempt to discredit them and their claims. Historically, humiliation has been used as punishment and oppression. For example, stocks and pillories were used in England until 1830, restraining victims in degrading positions while people mocked them. Tarring and feathering, a form of public punishment in feudal Europe, involved covering victims with hot tar and feathers and parading them publicly.

In traditional societies, ritual humiliation enforces social order or reinforces group dominance over the individual. In complex, hierarchical societies, the elite defend their social standing, while the lower orders submit to prescribed debasement. As societies become more egalitarian, ritual humiliation is increasingly resisted, sometimes leading to violent upheavals.

Humiliation does not always involve aggression or coercion. It can occur through passive means such as being ignored, overlooked, or denied rights. Immanuel Kant argued that human beings, by virtue of their reason and free will, are ends-in-themselves, deserving of dignity and ethical treatment. Humiliating people, therefore, denies their humanity.

In the age of social media, humiliation can be exacerbated by the media, which often amplifies and encourages harmful rhetoric. When humiliated, people may experience a range of emotional responses, from self-consciousness and loss of confidence to obsession and emotional disturbances like anxiety, flashbacks, and depression. Severe humiliation can be devastating, sometimes worse than death, leading to heightened risks for those subjected to it.

Humiliation undermines the ability of victims to defend themselves. Responses such as anger, violence, or despair are often ineffective in reversing the damage. Victims need to find inner strength and self-esteem to cope with humiliation or, if necessary, start anew.

It is important to recognise that humiliation is rarely a proportionate or justified response. Realise you are not alone—talk to others who have faced similar crises. Resilience, rather than just intelligence, often distinguishes successful people from those who fail. Success is often about finding the right fit between yourself and a situation. If you don’t fit, don’t take it personally—move on to find a better fit.