Aging, Happiness, and Self-Esteem: The Hidden Role of Ageism
- Guest Writer
- Sep 3
- 2 min read
Research on the relationship between happiness and aging is consistent: older people are happier people, even when facing health decline or the loss of relationships. But when it comes to self-esteem, the story is more complex.
Some studies suggest self-esteem rises until around retirement age (60–65), then declines. Others find it remains steady until very late in life. Why the difference? And what really affects how we feel about ourselves as we age?
The Link Between Happiness and Self-Esteem
Self-esteem — our sense of worth — has long been seen as closely connected to happiness. It’s why findings of self-esteem decline after 60 can be so surprising.
Some researchers argue wealth and health are protective factors, as they support independence and contribution to family or society. Others point to cognitive ability, social inclusion, and a sense of control as key stabilisers.
But beyond these factors, there’s another powerful influence: ageism.
Ageism: The Real Culprit
Ageism is both a set of cultural beliefs and discriminatory practices that diminish older people simply because of age. When internalised, it can erode self-worth even in those who are otherwise healthy and engaged.
Psychologist Becca Levy’s research at Yale found that older adults subliminally exposed to positive words about aging performed better and felt more confident than those exposed to negative ones. This highlights how deeply cultural messaging impacts self-esteem.
How Ageism Affects Self-Esteem
Employment discrimination: Older adults face forced retirement or job exclusion, undermining both financial security and independence.
Stereotyping: Terms like “senile,” “geezer,” or “crone” reinforce shame and self-doubt.
Disability discrimination: Mobility aids often lead to added stigma, compounding age bias.
Dependence discrimination: Needing help clashes with cultural ideals of total self-reliance.
Appearance-based judgment: “Looking old” is treated as a social flaw, with women disproportionately judged.
Each form of bias can chip away at confidence, even in resilient individuals.
Rewriting the Narrative
If you find yourself feeling “less than” as you age, it may not be about you at all — it may be systemic and internalised ageism. Recognising this opens the door to reclaiming your self-worth.
Practical steps include:
Challenging stereotypes, starting with your own self-talk.
Practising self-compassion and valuing your lived experience.
Becoming an anti-ageism advocate — speaking up against discrimination and supporting policies that respect older adults.
On a personal level, replacing internalised ageist thoughts with affirmations of worth can help you stay connected to happiness at every stage of life.
The Hopeful Future
If older adults — and society as a whole — begin to view aging with respect rather than bias, studies may one day show a rise in self-esteem after 65. Happiness is already proven to increase with age. With awareness and activism, confidence can rise, too.
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