The Only Marriage Advice For Blended Families You’ll Ever Need

Raise your hand if you’re a parent of a blended family.

There’s a good chance you raised it. Blended families are quickly becoming the new norm in our society.

While it’s no secret that having a stepfamily creates intense complexities that simply don’t exist in intact families, you don’t have to let these complexities hinder your marriage.

I set out to identify the 10 most critical nuggets of advice you’ll ever need for a healthy blended family. Here they are for you to read, glean, and use!

1. Understand That Blending a Family Requires Time

Bringing two families together is a long-term investment. Research shows it can take up to five years to truly blend. Treat it as a journey, not a quick fix.

2. Prepare for Relationship Changes

Relationships with stepchildren often change after marriage. Roles shift from “fun friend” to stepparent, and discipline styles can clash. Expect strain and prepare for open communication.

3. Create a Shared List of Values

Shared values are the backbone of blended family harmony. Identify your top three values and translate them into daily actions — individually, as a couple, and as a family.

4. Build Household Rules

Rules about chores, homework, curfew, and personal space should be agreed upon early. Consider moving into a new home to avoid territorial issues between children.

5. Know That You Will See Your Spouse Differently

Marriage within a blended family often exposes new dynamics in discipline styles and guilt patterns. Talk openly about your parenting approaches.

6. Make Schedules

Schedules are essential: time as a family, time with each parent’s kids individually, and alone time as a couple. Don’t sacrifice your relationship for logistics.

7. Master Transitions

Create routines for when children move between homes. Family meetings during transitions can strengthen connection and stability.

8. Deal With the Ex

Negative talk about ex-partners damages marriages. Communicate respectfully and manage feelings so your spouse feels supported.

9. Forget About Keeping Up With Your Ex

Avoid comparing vacations, gifts, or financial contributions. Stay grounded in your family values instead of playing competitive games.

10. Maintain Traditions From Your Original Family

Acknowledge past traditions, keep the ones that matter, and create new traditions together. Respect both family histories while building new ones.

That’s it — the best marriage advice you’ll ever need for blended families. If there’s one list on how to do blended families right — you just read it.

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