How to Be OK (for Now) When Things Don’t Feel OK

In a Divided World, Connection Begins Within

In today’s world, people are deeply divided—across politics, beliefs, and values. These divisions often feel deeply personal and can provoke anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed when our sense of safety or our values feel threatened.

But these emotions can be messengers, revealing what matters most to us. When we pause to notice our feelings and respond with care, we create opportunities for connection and healing—both within ourselves and in our relationships.

As my dear friend Nan Wise says, when relationships break down, they’re calling attention to how we need to grow. The same applies culturally: collective breakdowns can become breakthroughs. Whether in personal partnerships or community dynamics, healing starts with self-awareness and compassion.

Self-Regulation: Your Most Powerful Tool

To manage strong emotions, we need to regulate ourselves before reacting. Here are simple yet powerful practices:

• Mindful Breathing: Slow, intentional breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Inhale deeply, hold briefly, then exhale longer than your inhale.

• Pause and Reflect: When triggered, take a moment. Naming your emotion creates space between feeling and reaction.

• Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself as you would a loved one: gently, with empathy.

• Move Your Body: Walk, stretch, or practice yoga to release physical tension and shift your mood.

• Positive Affirmations: Say grounding phrases like “I am safe in this moment” while breathing deeply.

• Talk it Out: Share your feelings with someone who listens without judgment.

Navigating Conflict with Care

Borrowing from the Gottman Institute’s relationship research, here are tools to navigate social and personal conflict:

• Accept Differences: Aim to understand, not to win. Conflict doesn’t mean failure—it’s a chance to connect.

• Practice Active Listening: Reflect back what you hear to ensure understanding and reduce tension.

• Use “I” Statements: Speak from your own experience. This reduces defensiveness.

• Apply the 5:1 Rule: Balance every negative interaction with at least five positive ones.

• Take Breaks: In intense conversations, step away and return when calm.

• Seek Common Ground: Highlight shared values to build bridges.

Building Empathy and Emotional Intimacy

Whether in relationships or society, connection depends on curiosity, vulnerability, and respect.

• Respect Boundaries: Some people may not be ready for deep discussions—honor that.

• Create Safe Spaces: Foster environments free from judgment and criticism.

• Stay Curious: Ask open-ended questions like “What experiences have shaped your view?” instead of “How can you believe that?”

• Share Your Truth: Speak about your own values and experiences to invite connection.

• Embrace Discomfort: Growth lives in the space between certainty and openness.

Connection Is Still Possible

When things feel far from OK, begin with yourself. Breathe. Reflect. Listen with curiosity. Choose compassion over judgment. Conflict doesn’t have to divide us—when met with empathy, it can deepen connection and lead to healing.

Wise Psychic Counselling offers holistic support for emotional and relational healing. Combining psychotherapy, mindfulness, and intuitive wisdom, we help individuals cultivate self-awareness, regulate emotions, and build deeper connections—with themselves and others. Whether you’re navigating personal challenges or larger societal tensions, our counselling supports you in finding inner peace and clarity.