Self-Sabotaging: Why Does It Happen?
- Wise Psychic Counsellor
- Aug 4
- 2 min read
Self-sabotaging behaviour refers to intentional action—or inaction—that undermines your progress and prevents you from accomplishing your goals. It’s an internal conflict that often stems from deep-seated beliefs, past trauma, or a fear of success or failure. Whether conscious or unconscious, self-sabotage can show up in many areas of life—career, relationships, health—and often becomes a barrier to long-term fulfilment.
What Causes Self-Sabotaging Behaviour?
The roots of self-sabotage can be traced back to various psychological patterns and life experiences. These may include:
Childhood experiences: Growing up in a dysfunctional or critical environment may foster limiting beliefs like “I’ll never be good enough.”
Unresolved trauma: Past emotional wounds, especially in relationships, can lead to defensive behaviours like cheating or abrupt endings.
Low self-esteem: If you believe you’re destined to fail, you may unconsciously ensure that you do—creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Cognitive dissonance: A disconnect between your beliefs and actions can lead to inner turmoil. You may desire success, yet feel undeserving.
Common Examples of Self-Sabotage
Procrastination: Delaying tasks as a way of avoiding the fear of success or failure.
Perfectionism: Setting unattainable standards, leading to anxiety and paralysis.
Self-medication: Using substances or harmful behaviours to cope with internal conflict and discomfort.
How to Stop Self-Sabotaging
If you're working with a therapist, the healing process will be tailored to your unique story. But here are steps anyone can start with:
Examine your patterns: Look for times you’ve undermined your own efforts and what emotions preceded those actions.
Break down big goals: Take small, consistent steps to reduce overwhelm and fear.
Challenge perfectionism: Strive for progress, not perfection.
Build emotional regulation: Learn to tolerate discomfort without reacting destructively.
Therapeutic Options
Several therapeutic modalities have proven effective in treating self-sabotage:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and reframe negative thought patterns.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): Supports emotional regulation and impulsive behaviour management.
Inner child work & trauma-informed counselling: Targets root causes for long-lasting transformation.
About Wise Psychic Counselling
Wise Psychic Counselling offers compassionate and insightful guidance to support your mental and emotional well-being. Our experienced team combines psychological expertise with intuitive wisdom to provide tailored counselling that helps you navigate life’s challenges, enhance personal growth, and find inner peace. Whether you're seeking clarity, support, or a deeper understanding of yourself, we're here to help you achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.
📞 Ready to take the next step? Book a session with our expert counsellors today to explore personalised support and guidance tailored to your needs.
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