The Psychology of Food Choices: Why Can’t I Just Eat Healthy?

Wellbeing is the buzz word in psychology lately, with the connection between physical and mental health increasingly made. Healthy eating is an obvious part of the self-care equation, and most of us know what that involves. So why do so many of us struggle to make healthy food choices despite knowing how to eat well?

Are You Using Food to Punish Yourself?

Poor food choices despite knowing better can relate to a common modern problem – low self-worth.

Low self-worth means that on a certain level, you feel you deserve to suffer. And food is an easy way to enact this unconscious belief.

If you eat foods that leave you feeling bloated, unhealthy, or low energy, or foods that cause you gastrointestinal discomfort, then you suffer. Putting on extra weight can also be part of the food and the low self-esteem cycle.

If your lack of self-worth comes with a belief you aren’t worthy of positive attention or love, eating to the point you are always overweight gives you a reason to beat yourself up and convince yourself nobody will want you. It’s like you are trying to hide behind your own body.

Questions to ask yourself if this feels like you:

• Do I really want this food I am about to eat? Or is this about something else entirely?

• Am I eating because I am hungry, or because I am feeling low?

• What is one tiny thing I could do right now to feel good about myself instead of eating food I don’t need? (Dancing, walking in nature, calling a friend)

• What things are right about me? Can I make a list and post it where I’ll see it daily?

• What scares me about eating healthy and taking better care of myself?

• What would I have to give up by eating healthy? (e.g., feeling bad about myself, attention from food issues, or food-bonded friendships)

Is Food Your Reward System?

Many of us use food as a ‘reward’ system without even realising it.

Do you eat ‘special’ foods when celebrating? Reach for a cookie after finishing a task? Buy a cheesecake after a successful presentation? These behaviours often stem from childhood, where treats were given as rewards for being ‘good’.

Questions to ask yourself:

• Am I eating because I’m fuelling my body, or because I want to reward myself?

• Did I learn as a child that food was a reward?

• Did my parents give me food instead of toys or books as gifts?

• What nicer ways could I reward myself instead?

• Can I create a list of small, non-food ways to reward myself?

Food and Love

If you grew up in a home where food was the primary expression of love, you may carry a hidden belief that food = love.

For many, family gatherings, culture, and upbringing connected food with affection. This can lead to adults equating cooking and eating with self-worth, or expecting validation through meals they prepare.

Questions to ask yourself:

• Did I grow up where love was shown with food instead of words or support?

• In what ways have I confused food with love?

• Is my esteem connected to my cooking?

• Do I see making meals for myself as a way to care for or love myself?

• What other ways (outside of food) can I give and receive love?

  
  

Food as Distracti

on

The most common reason we struggle to eat healthy is that food becomes a way to avoid emotions.

Many reach for sugar when sad or fatty carbs when angry. Food can numb us — not just from pain but even from intense joy or success.

If success feels undeserved, bingeing can feel like a way to return to a “comfortable” emotional state.

Questions to ask yourself:

• Do I allow myself to fully feel emotions like sadness, anger, or joy?

• Was I discouraged from expressing emotions as a child?

• Do I snack out of hunger or emotion?

• Do I suppress emotions by eating instead of feeling them?

• What’s the worst that could happen if I allowed myself to feel deeply?

What Are the Signs of Emotional Eating?

Not sure if your eating is emotional? Watch for:

• Sudden eating changes tied to stress (healthy for two weeks, binge for three days after conflict)

• Secretive eating

• Lying about what you eat

• Mindless eating (finishing food without noticing)

• Feeling hungry after fights or stress

• Raiding the fridge after both failures and successes

• Weight gain after relationship changes or hardship

So How Are You Supposed to Approach Food?

The healthy approach is to remember what food really is: fuel for the body.

Food is not something we have to ‘deserve’, nor is it something to feel guilty about. It is simply energy. The rest — status symbol, distraction, comfort — are psychological layers we place on it.

If you’re curious about how emotions influence your eating, keep a diary of not only what you eat but how you feel when eating. You may see patterns — stress-snacking, bingeing after conflict, or using food to ground yourself in moments of joy.

If your struggles feel deep-rooted, connected to childhood patterns or self-esteem, professional counselling can help. Therapists can support you in uncovering these links, breaking cycles, and making healthier choices.

About Wise Psychic Counselling

Wise Psychic Counselling offers compassionate and insightful guidance to support your mental and emotional well-being. Our experienced team combines psychological expertise with intuitive wisdom to provide tailored counselling that helps you navigate life’s challenges, enhance personal growth, and find inner peace.

Whether you're seeking clarity, support, or a deeper understanding of yourself, we're here to help you achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

Ready to take the next step in your mental well-being journey? Book a session with our expert counsellors today to explore personalised support and guidance tailored to your needs.

60 Mins - Intuitive Counselling/Coaching

60

Book Now