Healing Through Checking In

When Supporting Others Becomes a Mirror for Self Reflection

I recently noticed something subtle but deeply unsettling. A friend of mine disappeared from social media. It may sound insignificant to some, but for someone who had been consistently present online for over four years, the silence felt loud. It was the first time I had seen him step away so completely, and instinctively, I knew something was not right.

When I reached out, I learned he was not in a good headspace. There was no dramatic announcement, no visible crisis. Just a quiet withdrawal. I told him honestly that it might feel annoying at times, but I was going to check in on him every day. And I did.

I was mindful not to fall into the habit of sending the same message repeatedly. A daily “How are you?” can quickly feel transactional, even cold. So instead, I approached each check in differently. Some days we spoke about work. Other days we discussed current affairs, ideas, frustrations, or simple observations about life. The intention was not to fix anything, but to gently guide his focus outside the mental block he was sitting in, even if only for a few moments.

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What I did not anticipate was how much this practice would impact me.

As I checked in on him, I began checking in on myself. When I asked questions, I found myself answering them internally. When I offered perspective, I reflected on where I had failed to give myself the same grace. Supporting someone else created space for my own reflection. It became clear that while I was holding space for a friend, I was also uncovering parts of myself that had been quietly holding me back.

There was something profoundly grounding about consistency. About showing up without expectation. About offering a space where someone knew they could speak freely, without judgement, without pressure to perform or explain themselves. I wanted him to know that he could pick up the phone whenever he needed to, or send a message without having to justify why. That safety, I realised, is healing in itself.

Through this process, I learned to be gentler. Not just with him, but with myself. It reminded me that suffering is not always visible. That people around us may be carrying more than they let on. And often, we are doing the same.

Checking in on someone does not just support them. It invites reflection. It asks us to listen more closely. To slow down. To notice our own thoughts, our own patterns, our own blocks. And sometimes, in helping someone else move forward, we find a path opening for ourselves too.

If there is someone in your life who feels distant, withdrawn, or simply quieter than usual, consider reaching out. Daily, weekly, monthly. However feels natural. Not to interrogate, but to connect. And as you do, take a moment to turn those same questions inward. You may discover that healing, like reflection, often works both ways.

Sometimes, checking in on others is the very thing that helps us find our way back to ourselves.

About Wise Psychic Counselling

Wise Psychic Counselling offers compassionate and insightful guidance to support your mental and emotional well being. Our experienced team combines psychological expertise with intuitive wisdom to provide tailored counselling that helps you navigate life’s challenges, enhance personal growth, and find inner peace. Whether you are seeking clarity, support, or a deeper understanding of yourself, we are here to help you achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

If this reflection resonated with you and you feel called to explore your own emotional landscape, Wise Psychic Counselling offers a safe, supportive space to do so.

To book a session, email wisepsychiccounselling@outlook.com or message us on

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