15 Ways to Soothe Your Mind and Body During Times of Distress

When Emotions Overwhelm

When upsetting thoughts and feelings arise, it’s easy to spiral into a deep well of dread and overwhelm. In those moments, it can feel as though there’s nothing you can do to change how you feel. But that’s not true.

Practising self-soothing activities can help you climb out of that darkness and guide your mind and body back to calm.

Psychology shows that soothing activities can:

• Calm your nervous system

• Reduce anxiety and stress

• Improve clarity and focus

• Support better sleep

Next time you feel distressed, try these 15 lesser-known self-soothing strategies to restore balance and peace.

1. Fill Up the Balloon

Diaphragmatic (deep) breathing signals to your body that you are safe. Research shows it can ease anxiety, anger, confusion, and depression.

• Imagine a balloon behind your belly button.

• Inhale slowly through your nose for 4–5 seconds, “filling” the balloon.

• Purse your lips and exhale slowly for the same amount of time, “emptying” it.

• Repeat until your body feels calmer and more grounded.

2. Practice Square Breathing

Also known as box breathing, this technique builds a steady rhythm that soothes the nervous system.

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

• Exhale for 4 seconds

• Relax for 4 seconds

Repeat for 4 rounds or more.

3. Focus on a Colour

Choose a colour — like blue, or one you love — and gently rest your gaze on it. Breathe in for 7 seconds, then exhale slowly. Searching for different objects in the same colour also shifts your focus away from distressing thoughts.

4. Give Yourself a Hug

Touch releases oxytocin, the hormone that fosters safety and connection. Your brain doesn’t distinguish between a self-hug and one from someone else. Wrapping your arms around your chest can instantly soothe your body.

5. Paint with Watercolours

Art helps externalise distress and release it from your body. Watercolour painting offers tactile pleasure and visual delight as pigments swirl and blend unpredictably. A simple paint set can become a powerful calming tool.

6. Provide Validation

Dismissing your feelings with thoughts like “I shouldn’t feel this way” only deepens pain. Instead, practise self-compassion:

• Notice your inner dialogue.

• Place your hands over your heart.

• Say: “I recognise I feel scared right now, and that’s hard. In this moment, the things I fear aren’t happening, and I am safe.”

7. Try Autogenic Training

This self-hypnosis technique promotes physical relaxation and emotional calm. Repeat phrases three times, such as:

• “My right arm is heavy.”

• “My left arm is heavy.”

• “I am calm and relaxed.”

Continue until your body softens and your mind quiets.

8. Play with Something You’re Wearing

Fidgeting with a pendant or ring — exploring its texture, sound, or movement — can be surprisingly grounding. These small, mindful actions bring you back to the present moment.

9. Surround Yourself with Love

Send yourself messages of love through touch:

• Hands on your head: “I am with me.”

• Over your face: “I see me.”

• Across your ears and throat: “I hear me.”

• Over your chest: “I trust me.”

• On your belly: “I am safe.”

• Down your legs and feet: “I am loved.”

Repeat for at least five minutes.

10. Practice Legs Up the Wall

This restorative yoga pose activates your parasympathetic nervous system — your body’s “rest and digest” mode. Lie down with your legs up a wall for up to 20 minutes. If that’s uncomfortable, rest them on a chair or couch.

11. Perform Repetitive Tasks

Repetition creates rhythm, which helps release tension. Activities like knitting, chopping vegetables, folding laundry, or doodling patterns offer both structure and soothing focus.

12. Observe the Tornado

When emotions feel chaotic, imagine yourself not trapped in the storm but observing it — like a meteorologist watching from the sidelines. Shifting perspective reduces the storm’s power over you.

13. Savour Your Senses

Engage your senses fully:

• Listen to music with headphones

• Use aromatherapy oils

• Dip your hands into cold water

Sensory grounding techniques draw your attention back into the present moment.

14. Practice Heart Breathing

From the HeartMath Institute, this method deepens awareness and calm:

• Heart focus: Place one hand over your heart and one over your belly. Focus on the heart area.

• Heart breathing: Inhale as if breath enters through your heart. Exhale as if it leaves through your heart.

• Heart feeling: Recall a time you felt good. Reconnect with that feeling as you breathe.

15. Set Up a Preventive Plan

Soothing in the moment is powerful, but prevention is even better:

• Make your bedroom a calm sanctuary

• Limit screen time

• Create a relaxing bedtime routine

• Process stress daily before it builds up

The Bottom Line

Self-soothing techniques help you manage difficult emotions, reduce distressing thoughts, and relax a frazzled body. Try them regularly — even before you’re upset — to see which resonate most with you. Save your top five in your phone as a go-to toolkit.

And most importantly, remember: you deserve to feel peaceful. Healing takes time, so offer yourself patience and compassion as you navigate this journey.

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